(I get an exemption from this rule, because I’m the goddamn Kingmaker, and my close, personal friend Steve Jobs said so)
Please, for the love of the internet’s sanity, shut up about the goddamn Verizon iPhone. It’s about as topical as man’s invention of the wheel.
Even though the rumours of a new AppleTV/iTV with a handy-dandy app store have proven to be completely false, by virtue of the fact that the upgraded AppleTV has been announced and released, why should this stop tech journalists from talking about it as though it’s a certainty?
Is this really the state of online tech journalism? It’s like everyone’s still giving their impassioned predictions that the Y2K bug will totally be crash planes and end the world, when it happens. It’s embarrassing.
Seriously, journalists: yeah, I guess you can keep repeating a rumor over and over in the hope that one day it will be true, and that by doing so you can appear to have insider knowledge, rather than being, say, a linkbaiting bastard stuck in a loop, but that doesn’t actually make you accurate.
What the crap, Victoria Silvstedt? Knee past foot? Who taught you your form?
Crunchpad links to a new commercial for the Kindle, wherein a befuddled guy using an iPad can’t read his eBook in direct sun, while the fabulously hot chick with the Kindle can. This is it:
As you can see, the iPad user is doughy and ashamed of his body; he’s poolside in his t-shirt wearing long shorts! By contrast, the hot chick is comfortable with herself, and in a bikini. Such subtlety, Amazon! Ha ha!
Seriously, though, aside from completely missing the point about why the iPad is the most goddamn magical device ever, this commercial highlights two things:
- My close, personal friend Steve Jobs cares about you so much that he added the ridiculously reflective screen onto the iPad so that you couldn’t waste beautiful days. In this particular case, I’d say Steve would want the doughy iPad user to put the thing down and get to mackin’ on the amazingly gorgeous woman sitting directly beside him in a bikini! Idiot.
- While attractive, your average Kindle user is a vain idiot who spends too much on sunglasses.
UPDATE: I’m now linking to the official Kindle video, which doesn’t have the goddamn creepy-ass laughter at the end.