Home > Google, Idiots > The Google Phone will be invite-only? Shut up.

The Google Phone will be invite-only? Shut up.

Over at that paragon of journalistic integrity, Engadget, they’re reporting the specs of the completely non-existent Google Phone, AKA “Nexus One,” AKA “Google’s PR Department is wasted off their ass.” What I find most interesting about this whole charade is that someone actually took the time to fake a full set of specs. Click the link above for pictures of the whole list, but the “highlights” as reported by Engadget are here:

  • Android 2.1
  • 11.5 mm thick
  • 512MB RAM, 512 MB ROM, 4GB microSD in-box blah blah blah
  • FAST OH MY GOD SO FAST I WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
  • 3.7-inch WVGA AMOLED display

So if it were real, it would be a nice phone. But so what? Is this news? You could just go to the damn HTC site and get those specs, since it’s just a damn HTC Passion. Amateurs.

The weirdest part of this story is a throwaway comment that somehow made it into the headline for the post, that Google would start selling their phones on January 5th as invite-only. Like they did when they launched Gmail and Wave and a lot of their other products.

Are you drunk, Google? Shut up. This is a stupid idea. In the world of actual business where you’re trying to get people to spend actual real money on a real physical product, you want to remove as many barriers to entry as you possibly can. One what you could do this is by letting anyone with the money to buy your idiot phone to actually, you know, buy the thing.

Anyway, it’s probably all moot. Aside from the fact that it sounds like some lame masturbatory rumor a fanboy came up with, because omfg wouldn’t it be great if google was so awsome they did invites on hardware like they do 4 software extreme to the maxxx so fantastic i just came, that’s the part of Engadget’s supposed scoop that doesn’t have even the pretence of attribution. What’s wrong, Engadget, couldn’t you get your crack team of photo manipulators to whip you up something that made it look like you didn’t pull the idea of an invite-only phone completely out of your ass?

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  1. obviousguy
    December 24, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    uhhh.. it’s called “creating hype” and “scarcity”. Did the wii fly off the shelves because it seemed “scarce”? even an illiterate 1st year business school kid knows this stuff. considering google has about $22,000,000,000 in cash and you probably have $500 in your bank account, i’m going to guess the people at google are smarter than you.

  2. December 25, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Are there any knives around you? If so, you should walk into another room before you hurt yourself accidentally.

    Yes, there was a lot of hype around the Wii, and there was a fervor to get into the store to buy the Wii, but there’s a difference between scarcity and a hard limit. Why would a person rush into a store to hope to be the first person to buy it, or on the slim chance there’s one left (and in the process being around other products to buy) and knowing in advance that you can’t buy it. That ain’t hype, junior; that’s disappointment.

    Based on your level of grammar and your lack of understanding of how to use the shift key on your keyboard, I’ll put it to you in “l33t” speak:

    There’s a difference between “holy crap I need to camp out 4 3 days u guys to get this phone!” and “omfg they won’t sell it to me even if I line up so I’m going 2 get high on paint thinner FTW!”

    Hopefully that clarifies things a little.

  3. just some dude
    December 25, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    mosspuppet sounds like an iphone fanboy that’s realizing that Android is taking over.

    • December 26, 2009 at 3:35 am

      What you mean to say is that I sound like an iPhone fanboy who’s realizing that Android is taking over.

      You’re wrong, by the way. Android is taking over in what way? Are they suddenly selling more phones than Apple? Do they have better mindshare? Do I tell people to care about the Droid? No, I don’t, so Android isn’t taking over.

  1. December 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm
  2. December 24, 2009 at 3:25 am
  3. January 3, 2010 at 12:25 pm

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