Home > Apple > Apple’s Dynamic Tactile Keyboard is spectacular.

Apple’s Dynamic Tactile Keyboard is spectacular.

Rumors are making the rounds right now about Apple’s upcoming tablet offering a dynamic tactile keyboard, and I can confirm that these rumors are 100% true. What this means is that you’ll be able to feel bumps and ridges on your screen. The Blackberry Storm tried implementing something like this in the past, but this is different, because instead of just letting the user click on a goddamn screen to pretend it’s a button, Apple’s screen actually does something, and since it’s being made by Apple, it’ll be awesome anyway.

The main use for this will be with keyboards; some damn communists are complaining about the fact that with a touch screen you can’t feel where the keys end intuitively, which makes typing a little harder. To that I’d say stop trying to type when you’re driving, idiots, but baby wants a bottle, and so Apple’s selling baby a bottle that baby will line up for for seventeen hours, while mommy’s at home earning diaper money on her knees.

I don’t know who mommy is in that example, but she’s a whore.

Anyway, this new dynamic tactile keyboard — which I’ve totally been using for months — lets you feel keys when they’re onscreen, and not feel them when they’re not. This is both simple, technically complicated, and sexually arousing. It means that developers can assign physical ridges to elements on screen. Think about it, people; you could be playing an air hockey game and feel it when you hit the puck. Or you could feel the boundaries in a maze game.

Also — I don’t want to blow any of Steve’s big content partner announcements when he releases the tablet to the world in January, so you didn’t hear this from me — porn on the Apple Tablet is amazing.

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  1. May 20, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    This is so much fun to read, now that we know how great iPad is!

    p.s. Nice image choices:)

  1. December 25, 2009 at 3:20 pm
  2. December 26, 2009 at 6:38 am

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