Home > Apple, Idiots > The WSJ says Apple Shipping iSlate in March.

The WSJ says Apple Shipping iSlate in March.

Yukari Iwatani Kane, from the venerable institution that is the Wall Street Journal, reports that even though the iSlate will be announced on January 27th, it won’t be available for sale until some-time in March. I can neither confirm nor deny if this gels with the information I have (because as I’ve said before, I value my goddamn NDAs), so I pass it along to you. Yukari says:

While the device’s ship date hasn’t been finalized and could still change, people briefed on the matter said the new product will come with a 10 to 11-inch touch screen—which would make it closer in size to Apple’s line of MacBook laptops than its smart phone.

Seriously, Yukari, insider info and the best you could come up with is a range for the screen size? What’s Rupert paying you so much for? What, I’m just asking questions!

Yukari goes on to extoll the virtues of the forthcoming, still-unannounced device, and includes this bit:

With the new device, Apple wants to change the way consumers interact with a variety of content, these people said. Textbooks and newspapers, for example, could be presented differently through color screens, a touch interface, and the integration of live up-to-the-minute information from multiple sources.

Now, the iSlate is amazing, and it absolutely is going to revolutionize the goddamn future, but this is idiotic. The form-factor of the iSlate is wonderful (it’s the first tablet in history, don’t forget!) but this talk of textbooks chaps my ass, because it’s not like you can’t already present such things differently through colour screens, a touch interface and the integration of live, up-to-the — oh, for fuck’s sake, this is a website. The iSlate has a twist on this you can’t imagine, it’s so wonderful, but sweet shit, all you’re doing here is talking about websites. Have you seen wsj.com? It’s a site for a newspaper, and it’s color, you use your mouse to control it, and good gravy, it can utilize up-to-date information because it’s on the web!

The iSlate is the future, but when you talk like this, Yukari, pointing at the parts that have been around for years, you highlight how little you know about technology, and that you don’t understand why this will be important.

Poets shouldn’t write tech articles. It’s embarrassing.

  1. January 6, 2010 at 1:00 am

    I’m not bound by any NDA’s – March is a smokescreen – it’ll be “ready” by August. Just drink one glass of bourbon if I’m wrong, two glasses of bourbon if I’m right – three, and I’m guessing, you’re drunk.

  2. Sp1got
    January 6, 2010 at 2:57 am

    WSJ is a venerable institution? Since when? A venal has-been perhaps, but that’s about it. As for WSJ flaks extolling anything – if I’ve told them once I’ve told them a thousand times that shouldn’t speak with their mouths full of Rupert’s semen. Spit or swallow, then speak – got that?. Peace out.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: