Home > Apple, Idiots > There are absolutely no security holes in OS X.

There are absolutely no security holes in OS X.

According to DailyTech, some idiots over at SecurityReason are making noise about a security exploit in OS 10.5 and OS 10.6 that leaves the systems vulnerable to a buffer overflow attack:

Proof of concept code has been posted online that details a vulnerability that can be exploited in some versions of the Mac OS X operating system. The vulnerability is in both versions 10.5 and 10.6 of the Mac OS and is a buffer overflow error that arises from the strtod function in the underlying Unix code used for the Mac OS.

Okay, first of all, these “experts” at “SecurityReason” are lying. Clearly. A buffer overflow attack has been the main source of security problems over the years for the always-reviled Windows, and since OS X and Windows are completely different, these jerks are wrong. They’re lying. Clearly. Isn’t that obvious? I think they literally took a security report for Windows, did a search and replace, and issued a press release. This is laughably bad.

Also, everybody knows that every single line of Apple code is beautiful and brilliant and without flaw. If there were flaws, then it wouldn’t be an Apple product, because their products have no flaws. Understand? And if there is an exploit in the code, it’s probably there because Steve Ballmer hired a mole and got him to insert crappy Microsoft code in order to make Steve Jobs personally look bad. This has his hands all over it. Or it would, if it were anything at all, which it isn’t, because Apple’s perfect.

Another reason not to take this seriously is that Apple doesn’t make anyone install security software on their Macs. If there were security issues my close, personal friend Steve Jobs would ask us to install security software, or post a link on his site, or bundle it with the OS to keep everything safe. And since he hasn’t done that, and since Apple isn’t even aware of this bug, despite what SecurityReason says (how can Apple be aware of something that doesn’t exist? Should Apple also be on the lookout for goddamn unicorns?), then logically there is no security hole.

Lastly, why would anyone want to hack into OS X? It’s an amazing product, and it makes everyone who uses it happy. I mean, crap, just hearing the start-up sound makes me orgasm, and it has the same effect on everybody. Hacking into OS X would be like criticizing me, and that just doesn’t happen.

I tell you, the way Windows fanboys clutch at straws to make Apple products look bad is pathetic.

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