Home > Idiots, Techcrunch > The JooJoo is still coming out, apparently.

The JooJoo is still coming out, apparently.

More fun from Fusion Garage and their whacky, possibly recently-thawed CEO, Chandra WrathofKhan, as he’s still persisting in his insane plan to manufacture the JooJoo, even in the face of the upoming iPad.

Hey, Arrington: maybe it’s a good thing he screwed you over. Would even you be so batshit crazy to hop in a ring with my close, personal friend, Steve Jobs? (Spoiler alert: He’d rip your sphincter out)

Apparently Mr. WrathofKhan has secured another round of financing for his iPad-come-lately, and has signed a deal with some manufacturer in Malaysia where they cover the cost of building the cro-magon-like devices, with Fusion Garage getting a share of the profits. Wait, so Fusion Garage has the idea but not the technical or financial ability to get something properly to market, and they’re making a deal with a company with the appropriate knowledge? That sounds pretty goddamn familiar to me. Hey, Chandra, here’s a tip: sign a contract! A lawyer tells me they’re important.

Aside from the entirety of this situation, what fascinates me is Chandra’s tone: he’s either completely unaware of anything that’s been in the news for 10 years, is certifiably insane, his fight-or-flight response is wired backwards, or his balls are as big as my goiter:

Asked what he thinks about the iPad more broadly, and Chandra said that he’s amazed Apple’s jumping “into a category that we’ve defined.” He points out that JooJoo is African for “magical,” which is exactly how Apple described iPad, and that the iPad even comes in at the exact same pricepoint of $499. (No, I’m not really sure how “African” is a language.) But, despite Apple being, uh, Apple, he thinks JooJoo has a few advantages: They’re launching first; they’ve got a bigger screen (12.1 massive inches); and it’s an “uncompromised” web experience, since they’ll have Flash, and you’ll be able to use sites like Facebook in their full glory, not miniaturized app form.

You insane son of a bitch. If I thought you were a threat to anybody in any form, I’d take the time to get angry at you properly, but since you’re soon going to be smeared on the underside of Steve’s so-very-stylish sneakers soon, the only thing I’m concerned about is whether you want flowers sent to your funeral, or if you’d rather we sent a charitable donation in your name? Maybe to the “Entrepreneurs without Business Sense Foundation?”

Seriously, Chandra, who’s your market for this device? People who want to surf the web wirelessly on a tablet but who never look at any websites and who don’t know the iPad exists? Is Malaysia full of technically-literate Amish people?

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  1. February 5, 2010 at 9:08 am

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