Home > Apple, Idiots > WWDC: Apple set to unveil unicorns, flying money.

WWDC: Apple set to unveil unicorns, flying money.

According to various “pundits” across the web, Apple will announce the new iPhone, Streaming iTunes, unicorns, your fat mama, planetary bliss, new MacBooks, entire new categories of products, and women who’ll actually want to have sex with all the fat, ugly journalists waiting in line to hear my close, personal friend Steve Jobs unveil every worthwhile product they could ever imagine.

We get it, okay? Stuff will be announced. It always is. But isn’t the breathtaking new iPhone 4 enough for you greedy bastards? Does it have to be delivered on a flying chariot made from the bodies of Steve Ballmer and Bono?

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  1. May 17, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    Flying monkey would be great, especially flying chariot made from the bodies of Steve Ballmer! Please make it so! =p

  2. Lastangelman
    May 18, 2010 at 8:38 am

    There will be porn on the iPhone. Steve Jobs is getting all the ducks in a row so he gets 50% of the cut and they have to use Apple coding requirements for mobile internet. Remember when he said nobody reads? Now the line is “freedom from porn”! Ha! Everyone knows whenever there is a new tech innovation , porn exploits it first and successfully, too. Jobs wants to stop that be the porn gatekeeper and collect the porn toll.

    • May 18, 2010 at 10:22 am

      You obviously don’t know anything about the standard-complaint Safari Browser, included in all iPhone and iPad. Ever heard of HTML5?

      • Angelworks
        May 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm

        Its the same way I get porn on my Android phone :).

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