The Kindle can screw itself in direct sunlight.

Crunchpad links to a new commercial for the Kindle, wherein a befuddled guy using an iPad can’t read his eBook in direct sun, while the fabulously hot chick with the Kindle can. This is it:

As you can see, the iPad user is doughy and ashamed of his body; he’s poolside in his t-shirt wearing long shorts! By contrast, the hot chick is comfortable with herself, and in a bikini. Such subtlety, Amazon! Ha ha!

Seriously, though, aside from completely missing the point about why the iPad is the most goddamn magical device ever, this commercial highlights two things:

1. My close, personal friend Steve Jobs cares about you so much that he added the ridiculously reflective screen onto the iPad so that you couldn’t waste beautiful days. In this particular case, I’d say Steve would want the doughy iPad user to put the thing down and get to mackin’ on the amazingly gorgeous woman sitting directly beside him in a bikini! Idiot.
2. While attractive, your average Kindle user is a vain idiot who spends too much on sunglasses.

UPDATE: I’m now linking to the official Kindle video, which doesn’t have the goddamn creepy-ass laughter at the end.