Aside from the increasing references to the real Walt Mossberg as Mosspuppet — which warms the goddamn cockles of my heart, you have no idea — somebody sent me a link to a description of a TedMed event where Mossberg talked about his diabetes (something I have no issues with, being constructed purely out of foam). The best part? He used a picture of me, rather than Mossberg.
That’s goddamn amazing!
You hear all over the place, when people point out that Android is outselling the iPhone, a raucous “But you’re comparing a whole range of Android phones to One. Single. iPhone!”
First of all, no they aren’t: there’s more than one model of iPhone.
That said, it sure feels like there’s only one model of iPhone. My close, personal friend Steve Jobs sells everyone the singular phone style with the singular design that he personally wants, because he likes simplicity, and as the head of the company, why wouldn’t he make what he would prefer to use? Anyway, the heart of this argument is quite simple, quite wrong, and quite American-centric. Jerks says this:
“You’re comparing the sales of a bunch of phones on multiple carriers to one phone on one carrier!”
First of all, the iPhone is available on multiple carriers in a given country all over the world, so this bullcrap about iPhone being held back globally because it’s on one carrier in the US is idiotic at best, and insulting to everyone who isn’t a goddamn American, which, spoiler alert, is most of the planet.
Second, you’re comparing one company’s offering to another company’s offering. Do people making this argument really think that if Google put out only a single phone, like Apple does, that they’d sell a small amount? Crap no, they’d sell more of that one phone because there’s only one phone to choose from! Similarly, if Steve decided to release phones in different form factors, he wouldn’t triple or quadruple sales of iPhones; he’d simply be reducing the number of sales per phone, because he’d be dividing his customer base across multiple phones, which Android is doing.
Sure, there’d be some crapping reduction if Android was only on one phone, and some increase if Apple made more than one style of iPhone, but that’d be those few who would get an iPhone because it finally has a hardware keyboard, or who wouldn’t get an Android because it doesn’t have a hardware keyboard. But the effect on sales would be minimal.
The single-product thing that Steve does makes it look like a single phone is some unstoppable juggernaut, but that’s just a matter of perception; the platform is an unstoppable juggernaut, and “journalists” who fail to make that distinctions are idiots who should shut up.
Because I’m an awesome old man, I made a guest appearance on Windows Weekly this week, with Paul “I hate him less than I thought I would” Thurrott, and the President of the Internet Leo Laporte. It was a quick visit, as I needed to have some oatmeal and a nap, but it was fun. And I warned Paul about what kind of a man he’d be when he got to be 127 years old, like me.
Check out the show; it’s pretty goddamn great, even though I’m not usually on it, and it’s about Microsoft products.