Home > Idiots > All analysts are know-nothing idiots.

All analysts are know-nothing idiots.

So the Verizon CES Keynote came and went, and I hope nobody had money on the announcement of the Verizon iPhone. If you did, the line for the soup-kitchen for idiot analysts starts to your left.

Why does anyone pay attention to these analysts, anyway? They’re nearly always goddamn wrong. Most of these people, who somehow get actual money for their predictions, are actually worse than random chance?

You guys are all idiots.

Do you know how I knew that there wouldn’t be an iPhone announcement at CES? Aside from the fact that it seems strange to me that Apple would put out an actual new phone just a few months before the iPhone 5 will inevitably be released, leaving a lot of Verizon customers in the lurch (or waiting until the iPhone 5 announcement, which would leave Verizon’s sales of iPhones pretty much where they are now), I knew that the iPhone announcement wouldn’t happen because all the analysts were saying it would happen.

To paraphrase a nice zinger aimed at fabulist Stephen Glass, if an the analyst tells me the sky is blue, I’ll find a second opinion.

Shut up.

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  1. Andrei
    January 15, 2011 at 10:35 am

    So… you posted this on the 9th… and on the 11th there appeared the Verizon iPhone. How does that fit in your view of the world?

    p.S.: Shut up.

    • January 16, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      It’s not impressive if every week you predict that the Verizon iPhone will be coming out “next week” or “next month.”

  1. January 9, 2011 at 2:01 pm

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