Posts Tagged ‘apps’

iOS apps are coming to OS X, not the Apple TV.

April 14, 2011 1 comment

There’s a lot of hubub today about a reference to “ix.Mac.MarketingName” appearing as a list of supported devices for some iOS apps, which you can see here:

The question everyone is asking is whether there’s some brand new class of iOS coming down the pipe, or if it’s a reference to the Apple TV, which runs iOS, finally getting an app store.

The answer to both of these questions is no.

What’s really happening is this: iOS apps are coming to OS X.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Walt, you’re goddamn insane!” That may be partly true — I’m certainly hitting the sauce — but I’m sane about this. Check it:

Apple recently put Xcode onto the Mac App Store, presumably so more and more people who aren’t developers can play with the tools, decide they want to build apps for the platform, and then pay Apple money. What’s in Xcode? The iOS simulator. They’ve already built it and taken the first steps to put it in everyone’s hands. It’s a logical goddamn step to take to supe up the simulator so that you can download apps to it. Also, Amazon just put up a way to test Android apps on their website, using their massive cloud computing system. I don’t suppose Apple, who already knows how to build the simulator because it built the simulator, could possibly want to let people test out their apps, either online or on your desktop, even if you’re on a PC. No, that’s crazy, right? That’s batshit insane! Why, they’d need a massive new data centre to power that! Could you even imagine the —

Oh, wait.

If you’re on the Mac, you’ll get to download and play games to your Mac. If you’re on a PC, you’ll get to test-drive apps in your browser, and then get the burning goddamn desire to buy a Mac. Pretty genius, right?

Let’s ignore the PC aspect of things for a moment, and focus on the mac: you’re talking about the lack of a touchscreen on Mac OS X, right? One: Most apps work perfectly fine in the simulator with just mouse control. Typing works better. And what if Apple decided that the next iMac has a touch screen and, say, a tilting screen to compensate for the whole “arm fatigue” thing Steve talked about when supposedly dismissing rumours of a touch-screen Mac? Exactly.

Also, this fits in with Apple’s continuing plans to make as much money as a money-grubbing God and to make the desktop OS the same as the mobile OS. Note to pundits: this crap is going to happen. Stop fighting me on it. When Apple announced the App Store features of Lion, and the general “appification” of the OS, who was right? This guy. That’s right. While all you goddamn asshole pundits went around the next day saying “oh, yeah, of course Apple is going in this direction, it’s been obvious the whole time,” the day after you said “Apple would never do this,” I’m actually the guy who’s been calling it.

And I’m calling this.

Apple is bringing iOS apps to Mac OS. In 10.8, the only way to get apps onto your mac will be through the Mac App Store, or the iTunes App Store. It’s coming.

Shut up.

Categories: Apple Tags: , , ,

VIDEO: Gruber misses the point. Again.

June 24, 2010 2 comments

Alice for the iPad makes me angry.

April 12, 2010 10 comments

Gruber linked to a promo video for a new app called “Alice,” which is a “book” in some bizarro world populated entirely by Gruber and his ego. His entirely-too-rambly summary of the video is this:

How does the Kindle compete with this?

And the video is here:

This makes me actively angry. I considered punching my monitor, but then my spares would be down to five. And I’m sobering up, and if I cut myself I’d have to stop drinking before going to the ER (those assholes check your breath).

What’s the point of this app? To show you that it has an accelerometer? We already knew that. Is it to show us that bobbleheads exist? Again, we already knew. There are words on the page but it isn’t a book. It’s infuriating, and not just because flashing things scare me. It’s infuriating because it’s a pretty hack job, and it’s infuriating because overblown schmucks like Gruber think that just because it’s on the revolutionary iPad, that means that the app is revolutionary. Or that this in some way relates to the repair of the newspaper and magazine industries that the iPad supposedly is going to deliver, even though it won’t.

To answer your question, Gruber, about how the Kindle competes with this? The Kindle has books on it. This app isn’t a book; it’s an insult to books to compare the two things. This is a child’s messy doodle wrapped up in binary.

I’ve got an idea for you, Gruber: I’ll write an app for the iPad that has a picture of a rocket ship on it. When you shake the iPad, the sky behind the rocket will move, as though the rocket is flying. Then you can ask Boeing how it can possibly respond to such innovation.


Windows Phone 7 is already a failure.

March 15, 2010 4 comments

Windows Phone 7 isn’t even out for something like 6 months, but it’s already a complete and utter failure. Sure, it’s getting a lot of buzz, and all of the details have just been released at Microsoft’s MIX conference, and the specs for the phones that will run Windows Phone 7 are capable machine, and they seem to be making most of the right goddamn moves. The interface is shiny and new, even if it is a direct and obvious rip-off of Apple’s iPhone OS, and they promise that their app store will be open in ways that Apple’s isn’t.

It sounds good, sure, until you consider the fact that they’re forcing every phone to come preloaded with Marionette, a virtual Steve Ballmer. And it’s going to launch every time you start the phone And the bald bastard yells at you and you can’t turn the volume down.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at this video they just showed at MIX:

You see why Windows Phone 7 is already a failure? Exactly.