Who cares about an iPad Facebook app?

Facebook is holding some special event this Wednesday, October 6, to unveil something. Nobody knows yet, but lots of folks are speculating on the introduction of the Facebook Phone, Facebook/Skype integration, updates to Places (which seems less an issue of reasoned speculation and more a case of idjits moaning about the fact that Places doesn’t work in their country yet), possibly a Facebook-themed unicorn-buggering service.

Techcrunch (who has enough money because of the AOL buyout to afford my show. Call me) ruminates on this upcoming event, and the bit of fanwankery that caught my eye was this:

iPad: The lack of an official Facebook iPad app has been glaring since the device launched six months ago, and while some third party apps have stepped up to the plate (and done very well financially), a Facebook app is still nowhere to be seen.

Why does everyone keep going on about how much of a big deal an iPad-app for Facebook would be? The only reason they needed to make an iPhone app for their site is that their regular website was impossible to use on the iPhone, because the iPhone has a screen that’s only 3 or so inches big (like me!) and they had to restructure their experience to make sense on a small screen. But the iPad, in case you “pundits” haven’t noticed, is a full 10 inches (like Steve!). You don’t need to restructure anything, because the Facebook experience fits perfectly well and looks great on an iPad. Let me say that again, in case some of you are dimwitted:

A Facebook iPad app is unnecessary because Facebook fits on an iPad.

Jesus Crap, tech journalists are thick. What would you gain from having an iPad app? Places, maybe, though if they just added that to their website then everyone could access it from wherever they happen to be, and not just a super-small subset of people bitching about their precious First World Problems. What else would you gain? You wouldn’t have to worry about logging in all the time, I guess, but considering that you can tell the browser to remember your goddamn login information, this seems like a non-issue.

Now, to be clear, I’m not saying Facebook won’t ever build an iPad app; they very well might. I’m just saying it’s goddamn pointless to do so, and its introduction would only serve to stem the tide of blogger-bitching for about two seconds.